The Counterintuitive Trick That Makes Guests Feel More Comfortable

Every time I have people over, I feel like I’m doing spring cleaning again—scrubbing floors, vacuuming away every trace of our pets, and noticing every single spot that I missed in my weekly cleans (ugh, the baseboards!). I end up exhausted by the effort by the time guests arrive—and wishing that I hadn’t extended the invite in the first place.

But it turns out, we’re all probably going way too overboard in our attempts to please guests—and according to Reddit, people don’t seem to like it if your house looks too clean when they arrive, anyway. “I actually feel most at ease when someone’s house is just a little messy,” says Redditor goblincorechic. “Not filthy, just like, the kitchen still has some dishes that need done, shoes are a little scattered, projects left out. It means the person is comfortable around me so I can be comfortable around them? Also I’m more likely to invite them to my house without feeling the need to power clean.”

In fact, if your house is too clean, you might be making guests feel less at ease. “If I go somewhere and the house is pristine, I feel really anxious, assuming they’re probably judging me,” says Redditor MonoQatari. Even professional organizers find that their homes can be a little too clean and intimidating to guests. “Guests in my house always feel a little scared to ‘mess it up,'” says Jamie Hord, founder of Horderly.

So the counterintuitive trick? Relax a little on the pre-guest cleaning routine, and focus your attention on the things that really count.

What You Should Definitely Clean Before Guests Arrive

The Reddit consensus is to clean up anything that’s really gross. Make sure the bathroom toilet and bathroom and kitchen sinks are clean and clear, and if there’s something that has a not-so-fresh smell in your house (litter boxes, pet beds, and garbage cans are typical offenders), give that a good scrub. Make sure there are fresh towels in the guest bedroom and bathroom, and fresh sheets on the bed.

If there’s something sticky—like dirty counters or kitchen floor spills—make sure that’s handled. After that, you’re kind of off the hook.

What You Don’t Have to Worry About Cleaning Before Guests Arrive

The baseboards? Fuggedaboudit. In fact, one Redditor even said they’d think something was wrong with you if the baseboards were pristine.

And don’t worry about clutter that makes your house feel homey. There is a distinction, says Cian Ballentine, founder of Cannonball Cleaners. “Having a counter filled with mail and keys and work papers and other stuff that theoretically has a home? Feels messy and cluttered. Whereas having too many pillows and blankets in the living room, and half the pillows are on the floor—that feels homey. Pet toys or kids toys left out make a place feel kind of homey, too, but that can cross a line if you’re tripping over stuffed animals or stepping on LEGO blocks.”

It goes without saying that if it’s out of sight, it’s out of mind. So if your guests aren’t going in your fridge—there’s no need to deep clean in there before they arrive.

Remember: They’re Here for You, Not Your House

This is my new mantra, whenever I’m entertaining. The people who come to my house should be made to feel at home—not like I’m rolling out the red carpet for royalty. To make them feel right at home, you might even try to say something to that effect. “Make guests comfortable by saying things like feel free to keep your shoes on, or no need for coasters, or ‘Trust me, it doesn’t usually look like this,'” Hord says.

If your house gets messy when you’re hosting guests (especially if they’re staying with you). definitely relax. “When guests are visiting, it’s okay to relax and let things get a little messy,” Hord says. “No need to clean up right away or try to keep things clean—it’s impossible.”

And honestly, if someone’s going to get all worked up that there’s a cobweb or two in the corners of my room or a little clutter out on the coffee table, they’re probably not my real friends, after all.