An adult with a disorganized attachment style, sometimes referred to as anxious-avoidant attachment style, struggles to trust people. Often in relationships, their behavior is inconsistent and chaotic. Typically, this attachment style develops when one’s primary caregiver is both a source of love and fear throughout their childhood. In adulthood, Viviana found herself emulating her mother’s hot-and-cold behavior in her own romantic relationships. “I’ll be really into somebody and when they’re really into me, I’m like, ‘Okay, you need to go away, please,’” she says. “The moment they go away, I’m like, ‘Wait, please come back. Love me.’ And then I’ll do anything to keep their attention. I see it with my mom, too. I wanted to be close to her. But when I got close to her, that’s when the belt would come out.”
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