A Week In Silicon Valley On A $904,000 Joint Income

Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: a senior engineering manager who has a $904,000 joint income and who spends some of her money this week on indoor go karting gift cards. 

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Occupation: Senior engineering manager, software product
Industry: Tech
Age: 41
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Salary: $257,000 (base) + $47,000 (bonus) + $250,000 (RSU) annually. Partner’s salary: $350,000.
Joint income: $904,000. Every month we put in $6,000 to a shared account which we use to pay for childcare, mortgage, property taxes, groceries, utilities, subscriptions, medical bills, kids’ clothes, presents, etc. We maintain a balance of $45,000 at a 4% yield. We used to be very separate but we grew a lot both as partners and grew our overall net worth by being more open and transparent (I am so bad at paying bills that I had our power turned off for a $35 power bill) and strategic (I am much better at picking index funds than my husband).
Assets: Joint savings account: $50,000; individual savings/checking account: $30,000; partner’s savings account: $8000; unvested RSUs: $1,200,000; 401(k): $750,000; HYCA $500,000; Exchange-Traded Funds (VOO, VTI, DFAT, SCHG): $1,300,000; Roth IRA: $300,000; oldest child’s 529: $75,000; twins’ 529: $50,000 each.

Property #1: fully paid off, 1-bed/1-bath condo worth $600,000 (currently being rented at cost, which is $600; HOA, property taxes, and maintenance to a woman’s shelter); Property #2: fully paid off, 3-bed/2.5-bath townhouse worth $1.2million (we rent this out for $3800, which includes $300 HOA and $500 property tax, plus maintenance fee. Our profit is $3,000, minus any maintenance fees); property #3: 5-bed/3.5 bath house worth $2.9million.

Debt: Beyond our mortgage, we’re debt free. We owe $1.4 million on the house. My husband had his law school loans forgiven because he spent his first 10 years in public service working as a district attorney and public defender.
Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $6,800
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing Costs: Remaining mortgage on property #3 is $1.4million. Our monthly mortgage with property taxes is $8,500.
Loan Payments: $0
Peloton: $24.99
Apple One: $32.95 (entire family, including my parents, uses this).
Utilities: Average $150 (power, gas, electricity, garbage, water).
Internet: Paid for by my company (we live in a notoriously cheap power city).
Disney+/Hulu: $10 (this was a bundled from a legacy plan)
Netflix: $15.99
YouTube: $82.99
Peacock, Paramount, Max: Free (I use my parents’ subscription, they use my Apple One and Peloton)
Car Insurance: $550 every six months (two cars).
Home Owners’ Insurance: $2,500 for three properties (two policies are wall in).
Health Insurance: Deduced from paycheck.
ESPP Contributions: 10% of annual paycheck: $25,000.
401(k) Contributions: 10% of annual paycheck up to $23,500 (employer does a 50% match for a total of $35,250).
After-School Care: $700
Preschool: $2,000 for each twin.
YMCA Membership: $200

Annual Expenses

NPR: $500
PBS: $500
Costco: $120

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
There wasn’t a choice but to go to college. On both sides of my family, my grandparents all had a secondary degree and two of my great grandmothers had bachelor’s. I was expected to study engineering to get a great job. I am an elder millennial, so tuition to the UC system adjusted for 2025 dollars was $6,600 (yes, I used an inflation calculator). My parents, who had a 529, were relieved that their minimal savings of ~$30,000 would cover my undergrad expenses. College — including room and board — was fully paid for by my parents.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Growing up, money was talked about directly and indirectly. My dad worked in startups and would go from one layoff to another. My mom was so burnt out working in regulatory she went to back to her love of being a high school and community college teacher. She wanted to spend more time with her kids — unfortunately she ended up working a lot of summers and school breaks, because oftentimes my dad wasn’t pulling an income. We never lived paycheck to paycheck, and our utilities were never turned off. To this day, I do not know how much my parents are worth.

I did learn the following from my grandparents and parents: Start saving for your 401(k) with your first job at 16. There is good debt/not good debt (e.g.: cars are bad debt; always buy a Toyota/Honda). You can negotiate all your bills (including your internet and cable bill). Never carry credit card debt. Identify between want/wish before buying. Experiences and memories are better than things. Spend money locally. As an adult I learned that mutual funds are your friends! I learned more from resources at work, how/when to sell stock, how to open up ETFs, how to actively invest 401(k), and how to open a back door ROTH.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was babysitting — I did this because all my friends did it. I blame all the Babysitter Club books I read in fourth grade. Truth is, I still am terrible with kids. My first W2 job was a lifeguard in high school earning $15 an hour (in 2001 this was a lot of money). I got the job to stay in shape for water polo and to get a tan. Unfortunately, I couldn’t spend any of the money and had to put it in a Roth IRA.

Did you worry about money growing up?
I didn’t worry about money. I knew my family wasn’t poor, I knew we were middle class. It was only during college my family moved from middle class to upper-middle class. In college, I was able to have more name-brand clothing, did not feel guilty asking for Rainbow Sandals as a birthday present, and bought jeans from American Eagle instead of Old Navy.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes and no. I know we are very well off (even by Bay Area standards), but I worry about how much longer I can continue to work at this pace. I worry about my kids growing up in a superficial society. The Bay Area of the 1990s (even though there was obscene tech money back then, too) to current is VERY different. Housing was more affordable, the economy was less stable, the landscape was more startup and smaller tech companies, and the salaries were much lower. 

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
23 — after I finished my master’s I was financially responsible for myself. This was before the Affordable Care Act, and I had insurance through my first job. My husband and I are each other’s financial safety net. It is part of the reason why we still have so many properties. If something were to happen, we can downsize and move back to the townhouse. If I needed it, my parents could also support us.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Yes, as mentioned, my parents paid for my undergraduate education and I had scholarships for my master’s. Leaving school with two degrees and debt free was the biggest financial windfall I could have received.

Day One: Saturday

7 a.m. — My almost 9-year-old, M., wakes me up with a cuddle and a dream recap. He brings Uno, and we have a hilarious and competitive game. M. writes “Draw 14” on the wild cards, so you can guess who won that round. The whole family sleeps in! Hallelujah! For the kids’ understanding, we’re still on winter break. My husband, P., makes coffee while I wake up the twins, who move to twin K.’s room to play. The girls (D., and K.) line up their Squishmallows and pretend to play school, singing La Araña Pequeñita (the itsy bitsy spider). I get dressed in my favorite fuchsia pants, a black long-sleeve T-shirt, navy puffer jacket, and grey on Cloud trainers. I do my skincare routine, including Educated Mess’ Golden Hour Vitamin C Serum, Weleda Skin Food Light, and Kiehl’s Better Screen SPF. I get all three kids dressed so P. can take them for a walk to the farmers’ market.

8:15 a.m. — I meet my friend K. to go for a walk. She’s recovering from back surgery, so walking really helps. We catch up on our holiday madness, share our goals for the year (K.’s is to buy nothing and mine is to be more “put together” in how I dress, makeup, and accessorize), and talk about movies we want to see. We make plans to see The Last Showgirl on Wednesday afternoon. We walk four miles and meet up with our respective families at the farmers’ market.

9:30 a.m. — The farmers’ market is in full swing, and it’s great to run into everyone from school after the holiday break. I love our suburban community; it’s nice to run into people from your neighborhood! We meet up with K.’s family. We buy kouign-amann, ham and cheese croissants, morning buns, pain Suisses, and Nutella croissants for eight people. ($40 + $5 tip). K. buys me coffee ($4 + $1 tip). The kale, beets, and Cara Cara oranges are beautiful, so we buy them for the week ($25). $70.

11 a.m. — We head back home and I get the kids ready for Dog Man. (Last Christmas, we got the kids things they needed — like a new desk and bookshelf for M., theater tickets, basketball and hockey games, season passes to museums and theme parks — and one of the presents was these tickets). I make the girls a quick “meantime plate” (a snack plate to hold them over in the meantime) for them to munch on while we get ready for dinner with friends (after nine years of parenting three kids, I strive to be the “World’s Most Okayest Mom”). This gives P. and me some time to take care of the logistics, like downloading tickets and figuring out parking. I change into Anthropologie’s Colette jeans (why do they make your butt look so good?), a black long-sleeved body suit, an Alex Mill lady jacket, and Franco Sarto Mary Janes.

1:20 p.m. — We head to San Francisco and use Spot Hero to book a $20 valet spot at a hotel. San Francisco has a reputation as something of a Gotham-esque hellscape, but it’s mostly lovely except for a few places. The kids are thrilled to see their best friends sitting in the same row. $20

1:20 p.m. — We buy the parents beers and champagne ($90 for six people, including tip) and a T-shirt for M. ($38.25 with tax). Ugh, these merch lines really know how to pander to kids. $128.25

4:20 p.m. — We’re going to the pet store! We’re getting a Holland Lop rabbit to add to our family. My son is in 4-H, and guess what? His teacher is a huge animal lover! She has 19 bunnies, and we are getting one from her. We buy a carrier, cage, hay, alfalfa, and toys. $98.97

4:45 p.m. — We’re meeting up with our best friends for a belated New Year’s ramen dinner (we’ve been doing this tradition since 2008). This place makes customized ramen plates for the kids. They add French fries, broccoli, a small dessert, and charge $10 (what a steal!). They have so many winter specials; I order the vegan ramen but add an egg. The ramen is delicious and perfect for a chilly Bay Area day. Our friends treat us ($250 for four adults and six kids, including tip).

7 p.m. — We’re heading home and meeting my sister who’s watching the kids this evening. I’m getting the twins showered and in pajamas, and I’m laying out pajamas for M. My younger sister is an amazing aunt, and the kids adore her. I take P.’s old court calendars and tape them to the wall, then I make a grid with blue painters’ tape and have the kids paint on the paper (and sometimes the walls). I love Crayola’s ultra-washable line, because I can say “sure you can color on the walls.” World’s Okayest Mom strikes again! We make sure everyone has what they need, and then we call an Uber to take us to a restaurant where we meet up for drinks. $15.50

8 p.m. — We catch up with my old mentor and P.’s friend, who are next-door neighbors. We reminisce about our holidays, share hilarious stories about our families, and order a few drinks. My friend gets a Paloma made with Coke! We try to convince her to send it back, but she feels terrible about it. The drinks are pricey and mostly filled with a giant ice cube that takes over the cocktail. The place we go to is super stylish and a great spot to people watch. We spend hours making up stories about the people we see (is it their second marriage, are they having an affair, what tech company do you think they founded?). We end up admiring the bag charms and diamonds of Silicon Valley’s elite. The vibe is great, but the drinks are a bit meh. We split the bill of $500, including a tip. $167

10 p.m. — We head to a dive bar to watch a local judge play in a punk band with his 23-year-old twin boys. The music is awesome, and the drinks aren’t watered down (two drinks for $20 plus a $5 tip) $25

10 p.m. — We play Buckhunter for a bit ($5), then get an Uber home ($15 plus a $3 tip). $23

12:30 a.m. — We catch up with my sister and admire their wall art. We’re so grateful she cleaned up. My sister says our refrigerator is making a weird motor noise. I try to figure it out, but I can’t. I call it a night, wash my face, add tretonin, a peptide serum, and InnBeauty moisturizer (it’s not an exact dupe for Bader, but it’s pretty close). I use a water pik, floss, and brush my teeth. I add eyelash growth serum and body lotion (I love the EOS Vanilla Cashmere but hate the packaging).

Daily Total: $547.72

Day Two: Sunday

6:30 a.m — I do a 20-minute Peloton Functional Threshold Power ride with Denis, 10-minute arms with Selena, and a 10-minute stretch with Matty. My FTP has improved since I have become more consistent with the bike. I recently lost 25 lbs; it took me a year to do it because I did small incremental changes like daily movement with a focus of consistency over intensity, plus eating more protein, stopping eating before I am full, giving myself permission to skip a meal if I am not hungry (and permission to eat if I am hungry), and drinking more water.

7:30 a.m — Everyone is up and showered. P. is making scrambled eggs and coffee and I make parfaits with Greek yogurt, banana, raspberries, and cashews. We discuss our week, including the kids’ extracurriculars, who is taking them where/when, grocery lists, and errand lists. It’s the Sunday before school and preschool is back from holiday break and there is so much to do! The refrigerator has been making noise all night and we know that something is not right. We try taking apart the ice machine and taking a look, but we can’t resolve this! We schedule a technician, who is able to come by this afternoon, luckily.

11 a.m. — We go for an easy walk/hike in a meadow. We are able to successfully complete three miles without carrying one of the kids, whining, crying, complaining, or any of the annoying thing kids (and adults!) do. As a reward — and we’re too lazy to think about lunch — we go to In-N-Out. I know you’re not supposed to use food as a bribe, but a milkshake is pretty incredible (the kids actually opt for milkshakes over fries). Our family order is Double Double, add grilled onions and jalapeños, no tomato, no sauce ketchup and mustard instead, three plain cheeseburgers with lettuce, animal-style cheeseburger with jalapeños, two Diet Cokes, one vanilla milkshake, and two strawberry milkshakes. $36.64

12 p.m. — P. is building the desk for M. I am calendaring our family’s schedule in the digital and physical calendar (doing it twice allows me to identify conflicts). M. writes birthday cards to his friends for the (too) many January birthdays. We come up with K1 Racing gift cards as a suitable gift ($50 each for five birthdays; total $250). I write a condolence card for a friend who recently lost her stepfather to a brain tumor. In lieu of gifts, the family is asking for a donation to the National Brain Tumor Society ($100 with corporate matching total $200). I print out the gift cards and donation slip and put them in the respective cards. I prepare some returns: I recently bought things from Boden, Gap, Madewell, and Nordstrom. Unfortunately, most didn’t work except the belts I got from Madewell, which are amazing Khaite and The Row dupes! $350

3:15 p.m. — I meet my friend W. for a pedicure and manicure. I received a Dazzle Dry set as a gift and was chuffed that the salon was able to give me a DazzleDry manicure. I am trying to not use dip/gel, mainly because it’s so expensive and because of the time commitment ($40 pedicure + $35 manicure including gel removal + $25 tip). $100

3:15 p.m. — I love seeing W.; we decide to sign up for a calligraphy class later this month ($65). We discuss Iron Flame, because we’ve made reading fantasy series our entire personality. $65

5:30 p.m. — Everyone is playing. I know there will be a day when I will miss Polly Pocket pieces, Pokemon cards, and Squishmallows on the floor, but today is not that day. I book flights for Spring Break. We are flying to Boston to spend Passover with the cousins and then taking the train to NY to see mine and P.’s family for Easter. Jetblue is having a great deal and I am able to get Mint seats for all five of us. $3,510.36

6 p.m. — I make a simple aloo gobi and shredded chicken, plus kale chips, and cut up some oranges. We all relax by watching Wild Robot while eating popcorn and kale chips.

8:30 p.m — P. and I catch up on Shrinking. I love the homes in the show. I make lunch for M., who is in a camp tomorrow, because there is no school. I take pictures of the books to be donated and put them on M.’s school Facebook group. In five minutes all 45 books are claimed and I make pickup/drop-off arrangements. 

10 p.m — I start reading The Lifecycle of the Common Octopus. While fantasy series might be my personality, books with cephalopods might be my wing trait. This is my third book with octopi in the title in six months (Remarkably Bright Creatures and Lily and the Octopus are the others). 

Daily Total: $4,062

Day Three: Monday

7 a.m. — Ugh, it’s Monday and it’s the first “real” week back to work. I begrudgingly wake up and quickly throw on workout attire. I get the kids up and dressed and have them each make their own beds. P. makes coffee and we give K. and D. toast with peanut butter and banana. M. has toast with cream cheese and jam.

8 a.m. — I walk the twins to preschool (~.6 miles). The girls are in a silly mood and decide to do butt wiggles on the way to school. I hand off a second change of clothes, their bedding, and a $1,000 check for this week’s tuition (covered in expenses). I give their preschool director a huge hug — I genuinely really like her — and I feel relieved to have our schedule back. P. drops off M. at his camp because it’s the opposite direction for my morning. 

8:30 a.m. — I work out three times a week with women who are in their 60s and 70s, it’s fabulous! Not only do I get a great workout but I get social time with wisdom and perspective.

9:30 am — I run home so I can make my 9:30 a.m. meeting. I am in back-to-back meetings until 12:30 p.m.

12:30 p.m. — I go for a quick walk to drop off the books and then walk to the dry cleaners to pick up tailoring. I recently had lining put in a dress, a hem in a pair of pants, and a strap fixed ($35).  I drop off the Boden package and mail at the post office. With the Boden return I’ll get $511.31. I get into the car and do a Free People return at Macy’s ($43.31), Farm Rio sweater at Nordstrom ($175.38), jeans from GAP ($42.34), and midi skirt and asymmetrical shirt to Ann Taylor ($105.43). I zip in and out of the mall in 45 minutes and don’t have to pay for parking. $35

2 p.m. — I spend the rest of my afternoon organizing my calendar, setting up meetings, creating agendas for meetings and 1-1s. I begin writing my team’s performance reviews.

5 p.m. — I head to Costco to stock up on essentials: eggs, fruit (grapes, apples, more oranges, raspberries), cucumber, broccoli, cauliflower rice, tomatoes, carrots, ready-made meals in the deli (I pick up butter chicken and naan, despite what the Costco Facebook group says), sparkling water, (new to me) canned kombucha, various bottles of champagne (Mumm, Moet et Chandon, Kirkland, Earl Stevens aka E-40) flowers, pistachios, kebab meat, cocktail shrimp, chicken wings, three kinds of dumplings (potstickers, XLB, dumplings). I have been wanting new dishes for years (the ones I bought from Kohl’s in 2009 have been through three homes and have seen better days); I buy two Mikasa sets, because mugs/tea cups are not included. $476.81

5 p.m. — I pick up the twins and take them home and unload the car. While putting things away, I saw an old unopened bag of “Normandy Vegetables.” The kids hate them on their own, so I improvise and make a soup out of it and decide to make a kitchen soup dinner. I message our next door neighbors to come over.

6:07 p.m. — P. brings home M. from judo ($10 a class) and private piano ($50 a session). Our neighbors arrive with delicious wine from Italy (their most recent vacation) that we pair with mid wine from our trip to France in November. The soup I make resembles polenta, and I decide to serve it like that. I cook up old prosciutto (so it’s crispy and not tough), make grilled cheese sandwiches (to make mini grilled cheese croutons) from leftover cheese, poach eggs, and pull out some mushroom chicken so people can assemble their own bowl. I am so glad I bought the new plates: in the set are beautiful shallow pasta dishes that lend themselves perfectly to this. We love that we have neighbors for very casual hangouts and to share the dinner burden. $60

9 p.m. — I start sewing costumes for K. and D.’s upcoming play. The upside of being in a parent participation school is that you really know everyone and it’s really easy to make friends. The downside is that everything needs volunteering. Fifteen costumes later I am done but my upper facia is so tight. I am grateful I booked a massage for tomorrow.

11 p.m. — I call it a night.

Daily Total: $571.81

Day Four: Tuesday

6:30 a.m. — D. bursts into my room, whispering, “You need to wake up or you’ll die!” Can’t we all wake up in a non-creepy way? I get the twins dressed and tag in P. to handle the morning routine. He takes the kids to school. Tuesday and Thursday, I try to catch the 7:15 a.m. shuttle to work so I can arrive early and leave early. I’m running late, and throw on a black velvet T-shirt, stretchy Banana Republic gray slacks, and a gray herringbone blazer from Boden. I feel very gray, so I throw on Soliani Udine flats in forest suede (not quite dopamine dressing). I pack up my trusted Lo & Sons bag with my badge, Clare V pouch (Cuyana card case, phone, AirPods, Maybelline Teddy Tint in Knee High, Ole Henriksen Pout Preserve, car keys), JBL Headphones, workout gear, and laptop. I grab a Fairlife protein shake and hot coffee.

7:50 a.m. — Arrive at work and settle in at my desk. On my commute, I play NYT games (Wordle, Connections, and The Mini), listen to NPR, and clean up my inbox. I head into my first meeting with London and India and we recap our current metrics.

1:15 p.m. — I’m exhausted and have been in back-to-back meetings since 8 a.m. There’s a lot of work that needs to be done before we present to the various VPs on Friday morning. I have 15 minutes before lunch closes. I quickly grab a bio break and race to the “ok” meal area. I go to the salad bar to throw in shaved Brussels sprouts, tomatoes, broccoli, roasted squash, and corn. I add shrimp diavola from the Latin station. Luckily, my 1:30 p.m. is my chillest direct report, so we meet up in the cafe, grab soft serve, and just chat about her concerns, current projects.

2 p.m. — I send out meeting minutes, create a slide deck, and create meetings for this week.

2:30 p.m. — I go to the gym and do 20 minutes on the Stairmaster and a 10-minute Peloton ab routine. I take a shower and apply makeup.

3:15 p.m. — Time to conquer the day! I ’m on the shuttle ride back home and I use the time to catch up on some personal stuff. I’m listening to the Him and Her Podcast interview Mel Robbins. I’m also making and confirming social plans, including a tea at the Rosewood for a friend’s birthday and a VRBO in Paso Robles for a bachelorette weekend in April (that’s going to be a total of $1,789). I also sent out emails, calendar invites, and text messages to let everyone know about the birthday and bachelorette party. $1,789

3:45 p.m. — My friend recently got engaged! She’s about to have one of the biggest years of her life — she’s expecting her first child, just moved in with her fiancé, and she’s getting married! I ordered her Elsa Peretti thumbprint glasses from Tiffany’s. I like that they look expensive and they ship in that special blue box. $107.75

4 p.m. — I’m heading to the movies with K. to see The Last Showgirl. She’s grabbing the tickets, and I’m getting the Diet Cokes and popcorn ($23.34). The movie is great, the storyline is pretty straightforward (with a few plot holes), but Pamela Anderson is a legend. As a girl, I always admired her: her shabby-chic home in MTV Cribs was the first home I saw thinking, “I want that.” $23.34

6:30 p.m. — P. and I both pick up M. from play practice and head home on the never-ending “parent treadmill.” P. has the twins and dinner ready. Tonight, we’re having Costco butter chicken with Tasty Bite lentils, a mix of rice and cauliflower rice, and steamed broccoli. The butter chicken is okay — it doesn’t deserve all the bad reviews because for $11, you get a complete meal for three to four people. The naan bread is better than expected, even though it’s not made super fresh.

7:30 p.m. — All the kids are showered and D. and K. are in bed. P., M., and I play Racoon Tycoon. After a really competitive round, M. and I read another chapter of Harry Potter.

9:30 p.m. — All the kids are not sleeping and instead playing in their rooms. D. found some abandoned baby wipes and wrapped all of her mermaids in them. She lined up her entombed mermaids outside her dollhouse. K. found a green marker and colored a baby doll that she calls her “zombie baby”, and M. is doing tasks in Finish This Book. I need them all to be asleep because in the morning, they’ll move slowly. Both P. and I have early morning commitments.

10 p.m. — I lay on an acupressure mat and do a 10-minute hip flexor stretch. I’m really hurting, especially in my inner thighs, which causes a lot of tightness in my hamstrings and hip flexors. Focusing on fascia release has really helped reduce stress in my life and made my body feel amazing. I take THC and CBD oil and pack my bag for tomorrow. I also scroll social media.

Daily Total: $1,920.09

Day Five: Wednesday

7 a.m. — K. climbs into D.’s bed because her “blanket” is cold. The girls are so cute — even though they stayed up all night, they get ready without any fuss. But their brother, oh boy, can’t move at all. We struggle through the morning, but we finally make it out at 7:45 a.m. (our goal time!).

8 am — I have my morning workout with the workout group. Wednesdays, it’s boot camp style. We switch between stations every 50 seconds with a 10-second rest.

9:15 a.m. — Finish the workout, head to the office closer to my house, shower, and get ready for work. Today’s outfit is a white Banana Republic cardigan, a J Crew T-shirt with pasta that says “pasta la vista,” Anthropogie’s Colette pants in faux brown leather, and black Ferragamo loafers. I wear a lot of gold necklaces, earrings, and bracelets. I grab a big black coffee and add Fairlife milk.

1 p.m. — I have lunch with a family friend who works in the building I’m in. I have a huge salad, loaded baked potato soup, and a mango cheesecake. We catch up on reality TV, the holidays, and Jimmy Carter’s memorial service. I’m not ashamed to admit I cried. When Fred Rogers died, I mourned for a whole week. There are only a few non-family members I’ll grieve for: Dolly Parton, Michelle Obama, Rosie O’Donnell, and Martha Stewart. They inspired me to be more empathetic and involved, and to value intellect.

1:30 p.m. — I head into my massage and have the therapist focus on my head and upper back. My fascia is so dry and tight. It hurts a lot, but the release feels amazing. I do a lot of user studies at work and get massage credit. I venmo the tip for the therapist. I drink a lot of water. $30

3:30 p.m. — I head home from work and meet up with my friend for yoga. While I am not the biggest fan of yoga, I do want to work on my flexibility. The class is surprisingly good and I can feel my body getting deeper into the stretches. I even feel a release in my inner thigh. If every yoga class could be like this, I’d definitely do it more. Work even pays for the ClassPass, so it’s totally free.

5:15 p.m. — I pick up D. and K. and we play at M.’s school while I wait for play practice to finish. I finish the girls’ Open Enrollment application to M.’s school. They’re guaranteed a spot because M. is there, but we have to apply in the first round. I took care of this on the first day. Some might say I’m organized, but it’s really just a lot of anxiety and paranoia.

6:30 p.m. — Dinner is a mix of “meantime” plates of dino chicken, leftover pasta, vegetables, leftover Indian food, and leftover soup.

7 p.m. — P. leaves for play practice and drops off my finished costumes. 

7:30 p.m. — I get everyone ready for bed and read Iggy Peck, Architect to D. and K. M. and I read another chapter of Harry Potter.

10 p.m. — I’m all showered and in bed when P. comes home. We chat and catch up, but he’s a bit of a sleepyhead, and I’m tossing and turning. Instead of watching TV, I decided to watch SLC. It’s really good, and it’s not as annoying as Real Housewives of New York. I’ve been working on a presentation for the London, Singapore, and India teams, and I send it over for their review.

Daily Total: $30

Day Six: Thursday

6:30 a.m — I am exhausted and my face is so puffy. I use a caffeinated cream I bought in France and give myself a massage. I use an ice roller and eye patches. I put hot rollers in my hair while I get dressed and do my makeup. I am wearing a Christy Dawn dress, Stuart Weitzman boots, and a lady-style jacket in denim. I use our Phillips machine to grab a few espresso shots and a Fairlife. I make the kids yogurt parfaits before I leave.

8 a.m. — I arrive by shuttle and am ready for work. I receive excellent feedback on my presentation, so I set up some time with my manager to review it. I go through the typical morning meetings.

12 p.m — P. picks up M. during school lunch and takes him to a child psychologist, while I dial into the meeting. M. has been struggling with being bullied, and it’s manifested as binge eating. He’s gained 15 pounds in three months, so we’re working with a therapist to help manage feelings, eating habits, and set him up for the dreaded puberty years. His therapist is warm and kind, and M. really responds well. The therapist tells M., “Don’t be so kind to others that you’re cruel to yourself; don’t be so kind to yourself that you’re cruel to others.” Wow, it’s like Taylor Swift was in the room with us. $30

3:30 p.m. — The presentation goes so smoothly that I leave early this afternoon. I use the shuttle time to finish writing and edit all my reviews.

4:15 p.m. — I meet friends for a bitch sesh of the week. Barely a month into 2025, and we’re tired! Unfortunately, we’re all millennials, and it is very hard to unprogram “New Year, New You”. We create our own In/Out list. Agreed upon Ins: 5 p.m. dinner reservations; cleavage (40-year-old titties need vitamin D); using lube; embracing cringe; dressing like our kids (for fun!). Agreed upon Outs: quiet luxury (be more Old Navy and less Old Money); asking if you should order a pitcher/bottle/pancakes for the table (just order it); natural deodorant (you smell!); using dumb clichés “The best is yet to come” (live, laugh, love your way to Rae Drummond); avoiding doctor/dentist appointments (get your boobs smashed at your mammogram). I get the pitcher of margaritas and chips. $173.45

6 p.m. — I arrive home to actual food (not a meantime meal!). P. makes potstickers, rice/cauliflower rice stir-fry with eggs, carrots, onion, and broccoli. The kids all have Melona mango popsicles leftover from the summer. I am introduced to our new bunny! P. was working from home this afternoon and picked up the bunny, set up the cage, and play area! M. hasn’t decided on the name yet and wants to think about it.

6:15 p.m. — P. takes M. to his 4-H meeting where they decorate cookies and discuss projects. 

6:45 p.m — I decide to let D. and K. have a bath, which buys me time to mindlessly scroll.

7:30 p.m — It’s bedtime, and we read Sofia Valdez, Future Prez.

8:30 p.m. — P. and M. arrive home. M. takes a shower. I relax with a gummy, hot tea, pet the newest member of our family, and put away four loads of laundry while watching It Ends with Us.

10 p.m. — I do a deep stretch and spend a lot of time foam rolling, using the Theragun, and doing facial massage. 

Daily Total: $203.45

Day Seven: Friday

6 a.m. — Guess what? It’s finally Friday! I’m so relieved that the presentation and performance reviews are over. I use Friday as my day to relax because our weekends and weekdays are so packed. I submit all my performance reviews for my manager’s review.

7:45 a.m. — I take the kids to school and then meet up with my workout group.

9:15 a.m. — I’m home for a shower. Today is the day of pampering! I need to shave everything, including my legs, because I have laser hair removal later today. I’m tired of figuring out what to do down there. We have a pool, and I’m tired of bumps in the summer. So, I decided to start weed whacking to prepare for this treatment every six to eight weeks (ugh). Why is shaving so hard? Why didn’t my mom teach me how? I make a mental note to really learn so I can help (if they want) K. and D. with this task later (definitely not now!). I put on Cinq à Sept satin joggers, White Nikes, an Old Navy tee (my current favorite), and a Farm Rio sweater. I need soft, easy-to-wear clothing.

10 a.m. — I meet up with a friend for a facial. She’s never had one before and is a bit nervous. We catch up at the spa, drink tea, and eat some nuts. The total cost was $130 (from HSA funds), plus $40 tip (post-taxed). My friend loves the facial! She had a damaged skin barrier and clogged pores, and she left with glowing skin. I got my usual lymphatic facial with an intense acid peel and a moisture pack. $40

11:30 a.m. — I go to the next store to get my bikini line and underarms done. The total cost was free because it was part of a package for eight treatments for two areas for $2,700.

12:15 p.m. — I meet P. for lunch. We haven’t had time to catch up in a while. We discuss this weekend’s plans: costume sewing, four birthday parties, playdates, gymnastic lessons, basketball practice, rabbit care, family to-dos (dentist appointments), and golf tee times. It’s all very organized, but that’s our current routine. We eat tacos (yum) and P. pays ($44 including tip for two taco plates).

1 p.m. — I quickly check in at work and respond to messages, approve OOO and reimbursements, check in on emails, give feedback to upcoming launches and redefinition of metrics. My performance reviews are approved, so I set up time with my team to deliver the performance review.

1:30 p.m. — I head to my injection appointment. I really love neurotoxins because I look refreshed and not tired. Total $450, but I use my gift card balance (every year I buy a gift card to the place I get injections because it’s a 25% value — i.e. buy $1000 gift card for $750).

4:30 p.m. — Pick up D. and K. and take them to tap and Bollywood dance classes at the local community center. I wanted to sign them up for basketball, but the registration hasn’t opened yet. They both tell me they have “four cheeks” (at this point I am only half listening). They proceed to count, saying “I have two cheeks on my face, one, two.” Then quickly turn around, pull down their pants and say (with a butt wiggle) “I have two cheeks on my butt one, two. Two plus two is four.” It is both mortifying and hilarious. I don’t know whether to laugh or to scold. Where did they learn this? I quickly pull up their pants and take them to dance (total: $10 per lesson; two lessons each). $40

6:30 p.m. — Drop the girls off at home while P. takes care of the night routine. I head to book club. This month’s meeting is a bit different: We’re all bring our favorite snacks (pigs in a blanket, Rice Krispy treats, and Earl Stevens champagne), making vision boards, and watching It Ends with Us. We discuss the movie, the book (we read this in 2017), the current Justin/Blake drama, and set intentions for the year. I’ve been with this book club for 15 years — we’ve had major life changes, babies, infertility and infant mortality, infidelity, divorce, weddings, family deaths, promotions, and, well, life. Most of us hated the movie, the dialogue was forced and clunky. The beanie didn’t make the movie sexier. We each conclude with intentions set for the year, stomachs filled with delicious food, and we’ll see each other the following month!

9 p.m. — I arrive home with the kids sleeping. P. and I open a bottle of champagne, turn on the outdoor fire pit, and play gin rummy until we get too cold.

Daily Total: $80

The Breakdown

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