Dating Is Hard. Latina Fetishes Make It Insufferable

Growing up I hated my name. At the time, there was a prominent Latina character whose name was also Carmen on the TV show The L Word. I was talking with a white woman on a dating app and she said, “I’ve always wanted to date a Carmen like from The L Word.” Other women would say things like, “You must have a crazy temper,” “You must know how to cook really good food,” “You’re so spicy,” or “Say something to me in Spanish.” I was in my 20s, insecure, and not comfortable with myself, so I figured if this is how I get more women to date me, I should lean into their stereotypes. It was the easiest and quickest way to get the satisfaction I wanted, but I would always feel so cheap and gross afterward.