Ina Garten Says Don’t Bring These to a Dinner Party

When it comes to entertaining tips and etiquette, discussions often shift to how you can be the ultimate host. What wine should you serve? How can you ensure there’s food that everyone will enjoy? What’s the best strategy to make sure you’re not in the kitchen while everyone is eating?

There are many skills involved in being an excellent host, but there is also an art to being the perfect guest. As usual, entertaining expert Ina Garten knows precisely how to do both.

In a live recording of Sunday Sitdown, Sunday Today’s podcast hosted by Willie Geist, the Barefoot Contessa shared two items she would never recommend bringing to a dinner party, even though she notes that “they’re both common.” 

As a cookbook author and television host who emphasizes both making delicious food and hosting effortlessly, Garten’s advice isn’t just about what not to do—it also highlights what you should do when arriving at a friend’s house for dinner.

Don’t add any unexpected items to the menu

It’s important to emphasize that even when a guest gives a gift that the host doesn’t want, the gesture is still well-intentioned. However, if you can take steps to guarantee that the party-thrower is thrilled with whatever offering you impart, why wouldn’t you?

The Barefoot Contessa explains that while bringing an edible item to a dinner party might seem like a foolproof plan, you shouldn’t bring “something that the host feels like they should serve.” The example Garten gives is Jell-O salad, likely because many diners find it off-putting, but this advice applies to more widely loved options a guest might contribute to the dinner as well.

When planning what food or beverage to bring to an evening at someone’s house, consider how much effort the home chef has likely put into the menu. If they’ve thoughtfully curated and prepared a selection of French dishes, bringing chips and freshly made guacamole might disrupt their carefully planned meal or theme.

Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean you can’t bring any food or drink as a gift at all — there are still plenty of thoughtful options at your disposal. Ask the host if there are any specific dishes they need assistance with.Choose something classic like a bottle of wine they can enjoy that evening or at a later date. Or give them an ingredient they can use at their convenience in the days following the dinner party, such as a loaf of good bread or Martha Stewart’s favorite host gift, a carton of eggs.

Help cut and arrange any flowers you bring

Garten’s second tip might seem frivolous at first, as she recommends, “Don’t ever bring flowers that aren’t in a vase.” However, many seasoned dinner party hosts are familiar with this scenario: You’re in the midst of setting a table, making sure everyone has a drink, and arranging your appetizers when a kind, well-meaning guest arrives with a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

The instinctive — and correct — response when receiving flowers is to make sure they’re placed in an appropriate vessel with water. However, as any overwhelmed home chef can attest, finding a vase, removing the wrapping and rubber bands from the greenery, and trimming thick stems can be disproportionately frustrating when you have a laundry list of other tasks to complete.

What should you do instead? As the Barefoot Contessa details, bringing flowers already in a vase offers a thoughtful, stress-free solution. It’s important to note that a “vase” doesn’t need to be an expensive or ornate item that you either purchase or sacrifice from your own home collection. If you have large Mason jars available, those would work well, and in a pinch, you can use a wine bottle that you’ve cleaned thoroughly and from which you’ve removed the label. 

If you can’t carry a vase or another container with you, simply offer to find something in the host’s kitchen that would work well for holding the flowers, then cut and arrange them yourself. I can guarantee they’ll appreciate the act of service and the beautiful florals equally.