How to Be Your Own Valentine (2024)

Whether you’re single, partnered, or somewhere in between, Valentine’s Day is one of those unavoidable cultural moments. Maybe it’s because there’s not much else happening in February and we need something to get excited about during this time of short days and cold nights. Maybe it’s because we’re conditioned as humans to give power to all things adorable, and Valentine’s paraphernalia is decidedly in that category. Or because late-stage capitalism is an unstoppable force and more holidays mean more incentive to purchase.

Even though I’ve been married for years now, I’ve spent my fair share of February 14ths single and having a moment about it. Which is why, regardless of my relationship status, I like to make this fake holiday all about me. I recommend you do the same. Valentine’s Day is a great excuse to go hard on self-care. For me, that usually starts with lighting a fancy candle, putting on a cozy outfit, and pouring a nonalcoholic beverage before cooking a luxurious meal, which I eat while buying myself presents online.

If this sounds like your ideal night in, keep reading for some of the best gifts you can buy yourself on Valentine’s Day.

A stash of healthyish chocolate

While I will never say no to a heart-shaped assortment of chocolates (especially of the nutty, crunchy variety), I don’t always feel amazing after I’ve spent a night on the couch watching rom-coms with my best friend Russell Stover. When I want to eat a bunch of chocolate, but also feel like I’m doing something good for myself, these are the brands I turn to:

Hu’s cashew butter and vanilla bean dark chocolate bar might be my favorite chocolate bar on the planet. It has a barely-sweet, nutty flavor that I find deeply satisfying. But really, all of their bars are delicious, so you should just get the variety pack and choose your own favorite.

My one issue with chocolate bars is that they don’t always feel special. Spring & Mulberry’s date-sweetened chocolate bars, however, are gorgeous and wear their toppings on their sleeve, as it were. The mixed berry flavor is way better than the under ripe strawberry covered in candy coating your local grocery store is trying to sell you.

I was never one for functional mushrooms until I tried Alice, specifically the deep sleep version, which is made with ingredients like magnesium, chamomile, reishi, and zinc. It has a pleasant floral flavor, and it helps me get the best sleep of my adult life, which is the real treat. The fact that the chocolate also tastes good is just a bonus.

A restock for my N/A bar cart

There are so many nonalcoholic drinks now, and as BA’s commerce editor, I’m constantly trying new ones. But while I love the novelty of things I’ve never tasted before, these are the three N/A beverages that I must always have on hand:

St. Agrestis makes the most convincing pre-made mocktails I’ve ever tried, to the point where I often have to double-check with my husband to make sure he didn’t accidentally give me his drink.

I love French Bloom for any kind of special occasion (or to pair with a fried chicken dinner) because it actually tastes like champagne, not the sparkling juice.

Ghia was my gateway into the N/A lifestyle, and their canned beverages are just the right size. They form the base of the collection of drinks that’s constantly threatening to take over my fridge. If you like bittersweet drinks, you’ll enjoy these.

A candle that smells like a vacation

The ultimate self-care gift is a vacation, but if that’s not in the cards, the aptly named Vacation brand’s scented candles will at least make your home smell like an expensive resort. Their signature “Vacation” candle has notes of coconut, pineapple, pool water, and swimsuit lycra—scents that instantly make me feel like I have no responsibilities other than sipping a virgin piña colada in a hot tub. You can also get it as a perfume if you want to take that feeling with you wherever you go. And for those who like an indoor getaway, their Lobby-scented candle has notes of fresh flowers and glossy magazines.

An instant massage

I love the idea of booking myself a massage, but even when I manage to squeeze it into my schedule, I’m often underwhelmed by the experience. So instead, I’ve started investing in at-home massage tools that I can use whenever I have five minutes to myself. The Hypervolt Go2 is a powerful percussive massager that’s small enough to toss in a gym bag, while the Venom line of wearables combines heat and vibration to provide near-instant relaxation. Is wearing a giant, heated back wrap while you make yourself a skillet pot pie sexy? Um, yes. Very.

A week of no cooking

As someone who’s made a career out of writing about cooking and eating, I was a longtime meal kit skeptic. That changed when I spent a week testing Sakara, a celebrity-favorite meal delivery service that’s supposed to make you have skin like Gwyneth Paltrow, or something. At around $230 a week for the cheapest plan, Sakara is expensive. But every meal is genuinely delicious and nutritious, like something you’d get at an LA restaurant where gluten-free bread costs $20 and no one can get a table. I had to read the label on the eggplant parm multiple times, because I simply did not believe that the ricotta wasn’t made from dairy. The meals come fully-prepared in containers you can eat out of, so it comes with the fringe benefits of a week without doing dishes.

Some luxury hand care

To my last point: Doing dishes is the chore that never ends. I used to just let my hands suffer this unavoidable consequence of adulthood, but then I was gifted some really fancy hand soap and lotion. To say that it changed my life sounds like an exaggeration, but it’s not. Yes, this hand soap is $75, but it smells amazing and the huge bottle will last you ages basically forever. If your hands are in serious disrepair, spring for the exfoliating version, plus a pump-bottle of Diptyque’s luscious velvet hand lotion.

An upgrade to your coffee routine

If you’re a daily coffee drinker, any upgrade to your home cafe setup is going to be a gift that keeps on giving. Even if you have a small space, you can still get one of the best espresso machines on the market, the micro-sized Breville Bambino. Or you could spring for a French press that’s so stunning it looks like it belongs in a museum. And if you’re constantly running out of coffee, consider one of our favorite coffee subscriptions so future you will have a never ending supply of fresh beans.

Loungewear you won’t want to take off

February 14 falls during peak staying-in season, so splurge on some loungewear that’s both exceptionally comfortable and chic enough to wear on Zoom. These pieces pair extremely well with cozy recipes like Red Wine Braised Short Ribs and BA’s Best Lasagna.

A giant blanket

You know what’s even better than eating comfort food in soft pants? Eating comfort food in soft pants while wrapped in a giant blanket.

Three days of peace and quiet

If you have some extra PTO you want to use before everyone on your team is trying to take off the same week in July, consider giving yourself the ultimate gift: three days in an off-grid tiny house where no one can bother you. When I first stayed in a Getaway House near Shenandoah National Park, I had serious anxiety about the fact that there would be no Wi-Fi or cell service. It turned out to be one of the most relaxing experiences of my life. I did not check my email or my social media accounts once, and instead spent my time hiking, journaling, and drinking Ghia spritzes around the campfire while reading an entire romcom in a single sitting (Tokyo Dreaming, if you’re wondering). Getaway now has a few locations that are connected to WiFi if you want to take a work-from-home vacation, but I highly recommend going fully off-grid for a few days.