On “Saturday Night Live” March 9, Josh Brolin was the host and Ariana Grande the musical guest, but the appearance everyone is talking about is Scarlett Johansson as Katie Britt, the Alabama Senator whose Republican response to the 2024 State of the Union address drew widespread mockery even from conservative pundits. Wearing a plastered small, and a beweled cross fitting for both “da church and da club,” Johansson’s Britt was probably the high point of “SNL‘s” entire take on 2024 politics this season to date.
“Tonight I’ll be auditioning for the part of Scary Mom. And I’ll be performing an original monologue called ‘This Country Is Hell.’ You see, I’m not just a senator. I’m a wife, a mother, and the craziest bitch in the Target parking lot. I’m worried about the future of our children, and this is why I’ve invited you into this strange empty kitchen. Because Republicans want me to appeal to woman voters. And women love kitchen.
“But seriously, my husband Wesley and I just watched President Biden’s speech, and what I saw was the performance of a permanent politician. But me, I’m not performing. I’m not. I’m not! [hand goes to forehead in dramatic gesture] But, first and foremost, I’m a mom, and like any mom I’m going to do a pivot out of nowhere into a shockingly violent story about sex trafficking, and rest assured every detail about it is real except the year, where it took place, and who was president when it happened.
“And tonight I’m not just responding to the State of the Union. I’m also selling these gorgeous bejeweled cross necklaces for QVC. This affinity diamond necklace goes with anything, and you can wear it from da church to da club.
“And now, I’m going to get weirdly seductive for no apparent reason… As I was saying, the American dream has turned into a nightmare [moans]. You know, my husband Wesley and I spend a lot of time in this kitchen worrying. Kitchens are where families have the hard conversations. Like the one we’ll have tomorrow about how Mommy freaked out the entire country. But y’all, Biden’s the one who’s destroying the country. Just ask yourself: Are you better off today than you were four years ago, back in the good old days of 2020, the year that nothing bad happened.”
Alright that’s so good you just have to see the rest of it for yourself. Watch below.
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