Table Manners and Dining Etiquette Rules You Can Break

​​It can be argued that in this age of self-absorption, main character syndrome, and heightened unawareness that there is a need for more manners and grace. Emily Post has probably rolled over in her grave so many times lately that the centrifugal force is greater than what any astronaut ever experienced while training at NASA. While it’s true that our society may have roughened its edges over the decades, there are most definitely a few rules of restaurant etiquette that can be thrown out the window in the year 2024.

Elbows on the table

Maybe there was a time when placing your elbows on the table while eating was considered rude, but does anyone care about that anymore? Resting your elbow on the table so you can then rest your chin on your hand while contemplating what to order seems completely natural. Compared to cell phones, tablets, and tripods, an elbow seems like the least offensive thing that could be on the table. Honestly, there are way worse body parts that could end up there too, so let’s be grateful it’s just elbows we’re talking about. 

Wine pairing

We’ve all heard the adage that white wine is for fish or chicken while red wine is for beef, but we can let that go. Pinot Noir is a red wine, but it’s light enough that it’s often paired with chicken and I once drank Prosecco with a cheeseburger. There are as many grape varieties as there are food options, so drink what you want and pay no mind to any raised eyebrows about it. If we follow the rule of the color of the wine matching the color of the meat, when are we even supposed to ever drink rosé? 

Ladies first

There was an era when it was deemed polite for the ladies at the table to order their food first and then for them to be the first ones served. We are well into the 21st century and it’s okay to let this rule of etiquette fade into the history books. No server wants to run the risk of unintentionally misgendering someone and there are plenty of people who don’t want their gender to determine how they are treated. And if there are any restaurants out there who still offer women a menu without the prices or any men who feel they need to order for the “fairer sex,” wake up and smell the autonomy. 

Serving from the left

Serving food on the left and clearing plates from the right has long been the standard in restaurant service. If we’re talking about a Michelin-starred restaurant, sure, keep it up. However, if a Cracker Barrel waiter serves the Old Timer’s Breakfast from the right side, maybe it’s because the left side is too crowded with down home, country-style bric-a-brac to make it possible. The scrambled eggs and hash brown casserole are going to taste the same no matter what side it comes from. 

The customer’s correctness

Retail magnate of the Gilded Age Harry Selfridge is famously accredited to the quote, “The customer is always right, in matters of taste.” Essentially, he meant that if a customer wanted to buy an ugly hat, it was their choice to do so and it was his job to sell it to them. Over the years, the last four words of that saying have been conveniently erased giving customers the false idea that they can do whatever they want and the business has to accept it. I propose a new version of this axiom that says “The customer is always important,” because while they are always valuable, but they are most certainly not always right. 

Agony of the feet

Restaurant rules of etiquette are constantly evolving, just like everything else in this world. It’s perfectly fine for us to accept that things don’t have to remain the same forever. Rules aren’t necessarily made to be broken, but they do need to be pliable. And that’s not to say that all rules should be changed. “No shirt, no shoes, no service” can be written in stone as far as I’m concerned, because no matter where our society goes, that’s a darn good rule.