5 Steps To Calm Your Today’s Worry Into 20/20

According to a YouGov poll, over half of us (55% of Americans) worry about things outside our control. If you’re like most Americans, your mind overestimates threats of the unknown, forecasts a negative outcome, collects evidence to support the prediction then waits for the ax to fall. The what-ifs, although there for survival, can distract you throughout your workday, causing you to worry about things that rarely happen.

The What-Ifs Cause Us To Jump To Conclusions

The what-ifs that pop up in your head are what psychologists call forecasting. Examples are worries stampeding many of us today: the new administration’s tariff war, the turbulent stock market, economic uncertainty and massive layoffs. Examples are, “What if the tariffs cause my business to tank?” “What if I get laid off?” “What if I can’t make ends meet?”

Suppose your boss walks by your desk. You hook eye contact with her, smile and nod. She looks straight ahead without acknowledging you. She might as well be staring at the wall. “Holy cow,” you say to yourself. “I must be in hot water.” You shrink inside, and the what-ifs stampede you.

What if you did this or what if you did that to deserve her dismissal. Your heart races, and you’re shaky. Sleepless nights stalk you just a few days before your performance evaluation. You toss and turn as what-ifs spin with the made up story, and you buy it hook, line and sinker.

The day of your evaluation, your boss calls you into her office. Your stomach flip-flops. You tremble the way you did in sixth grade when you were summoned into the principal’s office. But, to your chagrin, she greets you with a smile and gives you a glowing performance evaluation. Not only are you not in hot water, but she also calls you a highly-valued team member, a laudable success—the exact opposite of what your what-if’s predicted.

All that worry and rumination for nothing, but the stress of the made-up story has already taken a toll on your mind and body. When what-ifs predict the worst-case scenario, we play it over in our minds as if it’s actually happening now. As you imagine these untested stories coming true, they interrupt your enjoyment of the present moment. And they take a toll on your mind and body, causing elevated heart rate, shallow breathing and tense muscles.

Science shows that most things we worry about never happen, at least not in the way we predict. In fact, most what-ifs end up either positive or neutral. But your mind magnifies concerns about the outcome, and you end up stressing over a magnification of the situation, not the real situation. When what-ifs take over, they eclipse the truth about your abilities to overcome challenges, and they factor out other possibilities at play that you’re unaware of.

Had you thought about it, you might have realized there are several benign reasons your boss didn’t acknowledge you when she walked by your desk. Perhaps she was distracted by her own worries, deep in thought over an upcoming meeting or simply just didn’t see you. But your what-if’s jumped into action without your permission, focusing only on the disastrous possibilities, blowing your thoughts out of proportion and sending you into spirals of rumination.

5 Steps To Turn The What-Ifs Into 20/20

Sometimes you can get a reality check from friends or coworkers, but most of the time you have to wait for an outcome to convince yourself of an exaggerated forecast. You can save yourself a lot of unnecessary misery by questioning automatic thoughts and waiting to see if the hard evidence supports them. Here are five steps to turn foresight into 20/20:

1. Be aware when a what-if is circling in your mind.

2. Intercept the thought and hold it at arm’s length.

3. Observe the made-up conclusion from a distance like a blemish on your hand.

4. Ask yourself, “Where’s the evidence for this conclusion?”

5. Wait to connect the dots after, instead of before, the hard evidence is in.

When you practice these five steps, you discover that the outcome rarely matches the prediction and that evidence lies in hindsight, not foresight. Plus, you learn that what ifs are unreliable sources of information most of the time. Finding the hard evidence first before jumping to conclusions saves you a lot of self-loathing, unnecessary worry, relationship problems and productive time.

A Final Wrap About The What-Ifs

When what-if’s eclipse the truth about your future, you’re unwittingly accepting your mind’s untested story, while rejecting the facts. But when you pause that proof you can revise the cloudy forecast into sunny skies, and start asking positive what-ifs: “What if I get the promotion?” or “What if the interview goes off without a hitch?”

Think back to a few weeks or a month ago. Track some of the negative predictions your brain made about future events that have happened since. Write down some of the worries you predicted about a medical procedure, rained-out ball game, missing your plane, failing a test or someone not liking you.

Beside each negative conclusion, circle the worries that turned out the way you thought they would. Star the ones that turned out the exact opposite of your prediction. Chances are you’ll have more stars than circles. When all is said and done, you won’t find evidence for the what-ifs. You’re more likely to find evidence that contradicts them.