Why True Mental Health Support For Moms Starts With Community

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Parental burnout is at an all-time high. According to the U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory, nearly half of parents report that their daily stress feels overwhelming. For moms, the traditional self-care narrative—baths, candles, solo yoga classes—often feels more like a Band-Aid than a true salve. Recognizing this, Calm, the leading mental health platform, has launched Not Calm Moms, a bold new initiative reframing maternal mental health around the community, not unattainable notions of serenity.
Featuring voices like comedian and mom Ilana Glazer and grounded in research from leading experts, including California Surgeon General Dr. Diana Ramos and Never Enough author Jennifer Wallace, Not Calm Moms is about real connection, honest conversations, and meaningful support.
Here’s why this campaign—and the larger shift it represents—could be the beginning of a much-needed maternal mental health revolution.
Beyond Bubble Baths: Why Community Is the Real Self-Care
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“Moms are often told to put our oxygen mask on first,” says Jennifer Wallace, bestselling author of Never Enough. “But it’s actually our friends who are the oxygen.”
Wallace, whose research on “mattering” shows that feeling seen and valued is critical for mental health, believes that initiatives like Not Calm Moms are tackling maternal burnout at its roots.
“Decades of research make clear that a child’s resilience is rooted in the resilience of their caregivers,” Wallace explains. “And our resilience doesn’t come from the kind of ‘me time’ marketed by the multi-billion-dollar self-care industry—it comes from the depth and strength of our relationships.”
By hosting Rage Rooms in cities across the country, launching a Reddit community for moms, and building digital spaces for peer support, Calm’s initiative helps mothers find the “villages” that have long been missing in modern parenting.
Mattering Matters: The Ripple Effect on Families
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Feeling invisible is an all-too-common experience for mothers today—and the consequences ripple far beyond the individual.
“So many mothers feel invisible, even when they’re doing some of the most essential work in our homes and communities,” says Wallace. “Moms feel like they matter when they’re seen and appreciated—not just for what they do, but for who they are as people.”
Wallace points to small but meaningful shifts that can make a difference: employers offering flexible work schedules, remote options, or simply checking in personally; policymakers pushing for paid leave and affordable childcare; and society at large challenging the outdated notion that caregiving is a solitary burden.
“When a mom feels valued, her mental health improves, and so does the well-being of her entire family,” Wallace notes. “That’s the ripple effect of mattering.”
Counteracting the Culture of Perfection
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The rise of perfectionism, particularly among younger generations, is well-documented—and deeply concerning. Studies link perfectionism to heightened anxiety, depression, and social isolation.
“Mothers today are navigating a culture that glorifies unattainable standards, often amplified by social media,” Wallace says. “Not Calm Moms helps by normalizing imperfection. It creates space for mothers to drop the facade, share real experiences, and build relationships that truly support resilience and well-being.”
Rather than pushing moms to do more—or pretend to enjoy the chaos—Calm’s campaign validates the messy, complicated, beautiful realities of modern motherhood.
Closing the Gaps in Maternal Mental Health Care
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Dr. Diana Ramos, California’s Surgeon General, and a passionate women’s health advocate, sees Not Calm Moms as filling critical gaps where traditional maternal healthcare often falls short.
“As both a public health leader and a mother, I know firsthand how important emotional support is—and how often our current systems overlook this need,” Ramos says. “Community-based initiatives like Not Calm Moms meet mothers exactly where they are, providing not just resources but meaningful connections.”
Drawing from her own Latina background, Ramos reflects on the cultural practice of La Cuarentena—a 40-day postpartum rest period—which, while rooted in tradition, can sometimes intensify feelings of isolation.
“Research confirms that strong social support can significantly reduce burnout and depression,” Ramos adds. “By embracing community instead of perfection, Calm fills a crucial gap in maternal mental health care—acknowledging the real, lived experiences of motherhood with credible, compassionate support.”
The Future: A System Built on Support, Not Survival
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The systemic challenges mothers face are not new—but addressing them with intention and innovation is vital.
“I would like to see a future where community-based resources, peer support, and integrated mental health services become standard care,” Ramos says. “Maternal health directly influences the physical and emotional development of a child, setting them on a healthy lifelong trajectory.”
Ramos emphasizes that the stakes are especially high for low-income mothers, who often face additional barriers like limited access to healthcare, inadequate social support, and financial stress.
“By providing culturally relevant healthcare services and emotional support, we can not only reduce health disparities but build stronger families and healthier communities.”
Normalizing the Hard Conversations
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Perhaps the most revolutionary act Not Calm Moms is undertaking? Making it normal—and okay—for moms to talk openly about rage, burnout, and struggle.
“Normalizing conversations about maternal rage, burnout, and mental health is not only important—it’s transformative,” Ramos says. “When mothers feel safe to share their struggles, it dismantles stigma and creates pathways for support, empathy, and healing.”
Ultimately, the goal isn’t to make motherhood less chaotic. It’s to make sure no mother has to navigate it feeling unseen, unsupported, or alone.
“Let’s imagine a future where every mom feels validated, seen, and cared for,” Ramos says. “This is the powerful legacy we can create—one honest conversation, one supportive community at a time.”
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